Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Prayers from the Hospital

Well, we don't know how long I have been anemic, but we think that it's been quite a while. I almost passed out in Alaska in March of 2009, so at least since then. However, we always credited it to exhaustion. We do travel so much.

These last 6 months have been very difficult for me. I have not been myself at all. I have been wanting to go home more, not wanting to meet new people or do too much, coming off of the road for a while (remember last fall when I took off?), and even this blog. If you have noticed, I have not blogged much in the last few months. I just did not want to. Sometimes, I did not want to get out of bed in the mornings. I began to wonder if I was depressed. I had seen the commercials..."Don't have any energy? Don't want to get out of bed in the morning?..." I am not a moody person, but I have been for several months now. We just assumed that I was burned out. The fact is, maybe I was depressed and burned out, but the reasoning is not necessarily what Brock and I do, it's that I did not have much blood to function with.

Sunday, when I awoke after the last pint of blood had been pumped into my body, I felt as if I had a new lease on life! Even though I had not slept much the night before, I had more energy than I had in a year or more. Although this is not too much fun (frankly, I am over the whole hospital experience), I am so relieved to find out what has been wrong with me. Brock is really glad as well. He has been so wonderful through all of this. He is so patient and such a rock loving me so well over the ups and downs of this last year.

Whenever my sleep was just interrupted by a too chipper and loud at 3am nurse named Evelyn, I decided to pray. Since I have been only praying for myself for the last 6 months, I prayed for others. My prayers recently have been something like this..."Help!" Now, as I laid on my bed, I began to lift up my doctors and nurses here, even Evelyn. I asked the Lord to bless each and every person that I have come into contact with since I have been here. Then, I prayed for family members and friends. We all need prayer every now and then. If anything, this whole experience has taught me to be a little more compassionate (which I was lacking), a little more sensitive to what is going on in people's personal lives around me. It's also worked on my pride.

As I was praying, I really felt like I had the Lord's ear. You know how some prayers are more moving or powerful while others seem to just hit the ceiling? I think that it has more to do with us than the Lord. You talk about a rock...He's always there. No, it's more about me. In this hospital bed, I am more aware of my desperate dependence on my Lord.


Anonymous said...

Auny! So glad to hear from you and your experience! Sorry I just found out about it or else I would have ran to come visit you! We need to talk, maybe I can visit you soon or meet up when you feel up to. Wow, I know what you mean about the powerful prayers in the hospital and how the Lord is so intimate and close!
Love, Jenna