Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Normal

Something was nagging me as I rose out of bed Monday morning. There was that ounce of dread there. As I carried myself into the bathroom, it hit me. I had to go to the doctor. I have never just loved doctor visits anyway, but this one had a lot at stake. We would find out my hemoglobin counts. I am not sure exactly what that means, but it measures the iron in your blood. Mine is supposed to be around 14 but was at a 5. After the transfusion, it was up to a 10...still rather anemic.

More and more pressure kept building throughout the day. One of the doctors had told me that building my iron up just by taking iron pills would be a slow process. Then, the several women lucky enough to be anemic like me said that it can drop quickly, but building it back up takes forever. I was hoping for at least an 11 or maybe even 12? Brock half kidding said that he was praying for a 13 and a half.

On the drive there, I was so worried that I got very upset and then mad. I was angry that it was going to take so long to build back up, angry that I had such a bad time already, angry that all of this stuff seemed to happen to us all at once...Brock's back, my broken toe, our tax bill, and on and on...Basically I was feeling sorry for myself and angry at the Lord. Suddenly, the Lord's presence filled up the entire car. My anger melted away and an unexplainable peace (you know the kind that only comes from the Lord) took its place.

I decided to listen to a Christian radio station to encourage me for the rest of the drive. I also thought that if I received any bad news, maybe the music would sooth me when I got back in.

I pulled up to a doctor's office that I had never been to in downtown Nashville. There was no place to park! Anxiety was rising in me again. I needed to be early and I was quickly becoming late. Brock had followed me in another car in case he needed to duck out early. He had a meeting later. He parked both cars as I ran upstairs to see the doctor.

The first thing the doctor did was prick my finger to take my blood. Then, they placed me in a room (Brock was in the lobby in case I needed him). As I sat there by myself, I began to wonder what my iron count was. I had been feeling great since Thursday. The nurse came in and said that she wanted to take my blood again. That concerned me. What if it had dropped down again?

Quickly after that, the doctor came in and said that she took my blood twice because she does not know how it could possibly be that high. It was at a 13.5! I told her it was iron pills and a lot of prayer. I am normal again! It's great to be normal after not being normal for so long!

I also had an ultra sound to see if anything was going on in there. Everything has come up normal. We are keeping a steady eye on me, but for now, we are done searching for the problem. We believe that I may have had a parasite that I rid myself of during the cleanse before the colonoscopy. For all we know the Lord healed whatever it was...I am normal!

When I got back in the car, Chris Tomlin's "Indescribable" was blaring on the radio. At that moment, I worshiped my Lord like never before. He had chosen to heal me. I am normal!

Monday, June 28, 2010

Doctor Visits

I am going to the doctor today and tomorrow. I will let you know what we find out! Thanks for the prayers.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Feeling Better

Tuesday and Wednesday I was feeling rather puny. I found myself not having any energy. In fact, I was in bed most of the day both days. I had that same ole symptoms of not wanting to do anything. Brock knew something was wrong when me, the beach queen, wanted to go back to the apartment as opposed to going to the beach.

Then, Thursday morning, I woke up feeling great! It was the first day since I have been here that I haven't felt weak. I told Brock that I know my parents' church had prayed for me the night before. Thursday morning, several people texted me to tell me that they had felt led to pray for me that morning. The Lord had definitely done some healing!

Even my eyelids have looked better! A nurse here told me to pull down my lower eyelid last week. The lid should be a bright pink. Mine was white. It began looking better yesterday and continues to look better now. Also, more good news is that people have told me horror stories about how iron pills upset your stomach. I have had no problems. I go to the doctor Monday. Maybe she can figure out how I lost so much blood!

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Prayer

This week SuperWow is going great. Lindsey is doing a fabulous job as well as John. However, Brock is still in pain and I am still tired. I went this morning and helped at the table as well as with production. After lunch, I came back to our apartment and crashed for a few hours. I have to keep reminding myself that I am very anemic.

Also, I feel badly for Brock because he has a lot on his plate right now. We feel like the Lord is asking us to broaden our ministry. We are taking some steps to do that but feel very anxious about it. Lots of opportunities have presented themselves but none have panned out yet. Please pray that the Lord will open doors and clearly show us His direction for our ministry.

Thank you so much for praying for us. I can feel it! Your prayers are precious in the sight of the Lord!

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Pics from my Parents' Visit

We ate dinner with the Rileys one night.PhotobucketMom holding Jack and me holding Anna.

PhotobucketBrock and Anna are conversing.

PhotobucketAnna gives her brother a kiss.

PhotobucketBrock and Anna are pals.

PhotobucketUs and the Rileys.

PhotobucketUs having dinner with Uncle Bob.

PhotobucketMom and me

PhotobucketWe went to Rock City.

PhotobucketMom and Dad on their 38th wedding anniversary.

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PhotobucketMom was nervous about this skinny walk.

PhotobucketThis short area was difficult for Brock.

PhotobucketMom was nervous about the swinging bridge as well.

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PhotobucketWe also went to Ruby Falls.

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PhotobucketBrock took a picture like this with his phone and a drop got in the mic and fried it.

PhotobucketMy childhood friends, Tiffany and Kevin, came over one night with their kids for burgers.

PhotobucketElijah found this turtle in our backyard.

PhotobucketThey loved the zipline.

PhotobucketIt was a joint effort to pull Kevin up the hill.

PhotobucketWe played some crazy game called Quelf.

PhotobucketAlso, the entire family tried out the bed of nails.

PhotobucketThen, of course, the hospital visit.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Update and Crazy Day at Camp

So, Tuesday, I checked out of the hospital at 2pm, ran home, and began to pack up for Florida where I would meet up with Brock. Everything was such a mess. I began to get slightly overwhelmed but pressed on and took breaks when I needed to. I just thought, "I can rest when I get to Florida." My friends, Jacob and Kayla, whom were planning on going to Florida Tuesday night anyway, came by to pick me up at around 7 and we began the 7 hour drive down to Fort Walton Beach.

I slept most of the way. Then, when we got into our room, it took me a little while to get back to sleep. Then, at 5:15am, I was wide awake (my sleep schedule is so off because of the hospital visit). I felt great! I sort of felt like I did after the Mexico incident...it's this high on life after feeling like you almost lost it. I was not planning on going to camp, but I was so bored that I decided to do so. I even took some pillows with me so that I could lay down if needs be. Well, I did not rest. I jumped right back into working.

I did lay down on the floor with my pillows backstage as Brock began to speak. Suddenly, when Brock was in a crucial part of his message, I heard a huge bang. Then, I could tell that Brock was not doing his normal thing. He said to pause for a second because that was distracting. Then, he wrapped up rather quickly and told everyone that we had something for them out the front door. So, everyone piled out.

What had happened was the girl manning the camera passed out and fell off of the camera riser in the back of the room. Brock said to pause for a minute, because at that time she was on the floor, so if you looked back, you would not see anything. Then, in order to get them out the front door so that the EMT could come in the back, he told them that we had something for them out that door. About 90% went out the front door instead of going to the back to see what was going on. Can you see the difference in if Brock would have said, "Please go out this front door so that the EMT can get in the back and help out this lady whom has passed out." About 50% of the people would have gone to the back to see the excitement.

He learned that from the story of a famous magician, Harry Blackstone, in 1942. He was performing in Decatur, IL. He told the audience that for his last trick, it was so big and grandiose that everyone had to go outside to view it. Then, he dismissed each row in an orderly fashion. When everyone got out to the sidewalk, they saw the "trick" that Blackstone was talking about. The theater was on fire! Because of the magician's calmness and quick thinking, he averted panic and saved many lives.

I watched the girl as she was loaded on a stretcher. I really felt for her and prayed for her because that was me last Saturday. She is fine, by the way. They don't know why she passed out, but she is great now. As for me, I overexerted myself yesterday. It left me feeling a little dizzy (nothing like before, though). I am just exhausted by the whole ordeal. So, I stayed at the apartment we are staying at last night and this morning. I feel much better. An update on me is that they think the bleeding that is going on inside of me (I am losing blood somehow) has either stopped or is a slow seep. They did a colonoscopy and scope down my stomach but did not find anything. When I get home, I will have a few more tests done. As for now, I am still rather anemic. So, I have to take it easy and take iron supplements. Pray that we figure this out. Also, pray that I will actually rest. That's not always my strong point. There is a reason that the Lord often whispers to me, "BE STILL, and know that I am God."

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Prayers from the Hospital

Well, we don't know how long I have been anemic, but we think that it's been quite a while. I almost passed out in Alaska in March of 2009, so at least since then. However, we always credited it to exhaustion. We do travel so much.

These last 6 months have been very difficult for me. I have not been myself at all. I have been wanting to go home more, not wanting to meet new people or do too much, coming off of the road for a while (remember last fall when I took off?), and even this blog. If you have noticed, I have not blogged much in the last few months. I just did not want to. Sometimes, I did not want to get out of bed in the mornings. I began to wonder if I was depressed. I had seen the commercials..."Don't have any energy? Don't want to get out of bed in the morning?..." I am not a moody person, but I have been for several months now. We just assumed that I was burned out. The fact is, maybe I was depressed and burned out, but the reasoning is not necessarily what Brock and I do, it's that I did not have much blood to function with.

Sunday, when I awoke after the last pint of blood had been pumped into my body, I felt as if I had a new lease on life! Even though I had not slept much the night before, I had more energy than I had in a year or more. Although this is not too much fun (frankly, I am over the whole hospital experience), I am so relieved to find out what has been wrong with me. Brock is really glad as well. He has been so wonderful through all of this. He is so patient and such a rock loving me so well over the ups and downs of this last year.

Whenever my sleep was just interrupted by a too chipper and loud at 3am nurse named Evelyn, I decided to pray. Since I have been only praying for myself for the last 6 months, I prayed for others. My prayers recently have been something like this..."Help!" Now, as I laid on my bed, I began to lift up my doctors and nurses here, even Evelyn. I asked the Lord to bless each and every person that I have come into contact with since I have been here. Then, I prayed for family members and friends. We all need prayer every now and then. If anything, this whole experience has taught me to be a little more compassionate (which I was lacking), a little more sensitive to what is going on in people's personal lives around me. It's also worked on my pride.

As I was praying, I really felt like I had the Lord's ear. You know how some prayers are more moving or powerful while others seem to just hit the ceiling? I think that it has more to do with us than the Lord. You talk about a rock...He's always there. No, it's more about me. In this hospital bed, I am more aware of my desperate dependence on my Lord.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Tales from the Hospital

I was lying on a bed in a new room about to have a camera stuck down my throat to see if there was an ulcer bleeding somewhere down there. They had me hooked up to something that monitored my heartbeat just like in the movies. I realized that the beeping was making me nervous. Of course, that made the beeping speed up. When I moved my arm up to adjust my hair the beeping quickened. I really needed to relax. They were going to put me to sleep before the procedure anyway.

Sleep would be wonderful. In the hospital, everyone tells you to get some rest. That's exactly what I was doing until somebody came in my room at 3am, flipped on the lights and said, "Good morning! Time to take your blood." Now, tell me how you can go back to sleep after you've had a needle stuck in your arm. I was up for a while. Contrary to what you might think, the hospital is not a place where rest comes by easily.

As I laid there looking up at the florescent lights, I realized that I was totally alone. Brock had already left for camp where hopefully I will be meeting him there soon. Mom and Dad were back in my hospital room. I heard the Lord say, "I am with you, baby. I am mighty to save. I take great delight in you. I will quiet you with my love and rejoice over you with singing." At that point, I relaxed.

Later, I was told that I do not have an ulcer. I do have a hiatal hernia in my stomach. They were not too concerned about that because that's not what's causing bleeding in my stool. The doctor ordered a colonoscopy for tomorrow morning.

I happened to be in my room alone for a little bit this afternoon. I actually allowed myself to cry a little. I've been through quite a lot this year (more about that later) not to mention the last 48 hours. I told the Lord that I would like some flowers. Something about flowers now for me (you can read more about that here). A few minutes later, a candy striper knocked on the door delivering me some flowers from my great friends, Rod and Susan. He worked quickly on that!

My nurse came in to deliver the wonderful liquid concoction that I must drink in order to clean me out. My parents and nurse warned me about how disgusting it would be. I am a wimp when it comes to drinks. I really only like water, so I was expecting the worst. Since I was still by myself, I turned down the lights, put my worship music on full blast, and began drinking. I don't know if it was an act of God, or if I just had extremely low expectations, but it was not bad at all! I was done with the drink in no time at all. My nurse was surprised.

Now, we see what we find out with the colonoscopy...

Dramatic 36 Hours

I write to you now from a hospital bed at 3:43am Monday. How did I get here? Well, at about 3pm Saturday I found myself sitting on the toilet thinking, "I am about to go!" I had been feeling very dizzy when I stood up since Friday evening. I had thought that maybe I had too much sugar (I am not diabetic, but had eaten lots more sugar than normal since my parents were in town, so thought anything was possible). Or, maybe I had some kind of ear infection that made me so off balance. That morning, Brock had taken me to the walk-in clinic. The doctor had told me that no, these were not the problem. I was severely anemic. Anemia runs in my family and Brock and I had wondered at times if I were. The doctor said that my hemoglobin was 5.7. He then told us that anyone under 7 needed a blood transfusion. Well, we did not know what a hemoglobin was, so we convinced the doc to give me some iron pills and send me on my merry way. I was going to try anything before I got a transfusion! That sounded rather desperate. For someone whom just did a Jillian hour-long workout earlier that week, walked all around Rock City, Ruby Falls, and downtown Nashville, we figured I could make it. I just needed some iron in me. No wonder I had eaten only a burger patty for dinner the night before (which is not normal for me...not much of a meat eater). I was craving iron! Anyway, the doctor agreed but told us that he gave it a 50% chance that I would still go to the ER. I was going to do everything in my power not to do that. I had never been to the ER! I don't even watch the show because it grosses me out.

Yet, here I was on the throne thinking, "I am going to pass out and then I will be taken to the ER." I called Brock's name tentatively once. Then, I called out loudly a second time. After that everything went black. Then, I heard Brock's voice to which I said, "I feel like I am going to pass out." His answer was that I already had. The next thing I remember clearly was my mom and dad on either side and vomit all over me as Brock was cleaning me up. Two thoughts went through my head. The first one was, "So this is what it feels like to pass out," and then, "my 19 year streak of not throwing up down the tubes!"

Later, I was told that Brock came into the bathroom just in time to see me fall up against the wall. He was able to hold me up on the seat, but with his broken back, he could not lift me at all (we are a mess, aren't we?). So, he yelled for my parents (which is such a blessing that they were visiting from Houston at the time). At first, mom thought he was outside yelling at our neighbor Barefoot Billy (they do that from time to time). But, finally, they heard the urgency in his voice and ran to see what was wrong. They eased me to the bathroom floor where both mom and Brock were slapping my face to try and wake me. At one point, Brock asked if I was breathing. Then, I came to, and mom and dad tried to stand me up. Apparently, I walked a little saying, "I just need to lay down." Except I passed out again on the floor before I could get to the bed. Over the course of a few minutes, I had passed out 4 or 5 times and vomited. I think that I was dreaming because when I was finally coherent with my parents on each side and me lying on the ground at the foot of my bed I thought that this was not where I thought I had been (maybe I was in LaLa land who knows).

Mom and dad walked me out to the truck. I had enough reason to stop and put on my sandals. Brock on the other hand, was a little out of sorts. Listen to the list of items he grabbed on the way out the door: a sofa pillow, towel, my backpack, and a bowl of rice. The rice was because his phone had not been working since it got a little wet at Ruby Falls. We had heard that if you place it in rice, the rice will absorb the water out of the phone. All of the other stuff was for me. That's an odd combination of things though. We had no experience going to the hospital. Brock was rather comical carrying his bowl of rice around the ER later.

So, they laid me down in the backseat of the truck with the pillow under my head and mom sitting at my feet. Brock drove let's say "quickly" to the ER. I could hear mom in her teacher voice say to Brock, "Don't get into an accident on the way. That won't do anyone any good." Brock never heard this comment, and got us to the ER faster than any ambulance ever could.

They put me in a wheelchair and rolled me in. The first nurse I saw in the ER said, "You don't look good." That was not a good sign. Isn't this an ER? Don't sick people come in all the time looking bad? They told me that I had no color. I looked at my fingers and they looked yellow. I could only imagine what my face looked like. My dad later told me that my lips were gray and pale could not even begin to describe my face.

They held me in the ER for a few hours while they readied my room and ordered 3 liters of blood for a transfusion. I was at a 5 on my hemoglobin whereas normal was 14. Therefore, I was living off of a third of what I was supposed to. When a nurse came to take my blood for the third time that day, I asked her, "Before you do this, you guys all know that I am here for lack of blood right?" She sort of laughed and said that yes, it did seem like an oxymoron but it was necessary. "As long as your okay with it." I just was just checking because it was 3 different nurses that took my blood. What if it was just miscommunication?

I was then taken to a room where they began the hefty blood transfusion. Even though I only slept on and off (maybe 4 hours collectively), by 9am when the transfusion was complete, I was bouncing off the walls. I felt better than I had in months...maybe a year (blood will do that to the body). I had visitor after visitor (18 total) all day yesterday. It was fun and took my mind off of feeling great yet stuck in a hospital bed.

Now, I am waiting to get some tests done. We think that I have a bleeding ulcer. This is not the only reason I am so anemic, but it may be a big contributing factor. Please pray that they find out what is wrong and that it's an easy fix. Thank you so much for your prayers and I will tell you more later.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

My Parents and Prayer

My parents came yesterday and are staying with us for the week. It's going to be fun! We are going to Chattanooga and out to eat. We are going to stay home and cook some. It's just great.

Then, we leave Sunday to go to Ft Walton Beach, FL to begin SuperWow camps. Please pray that they go well.

Also, pray for me. I am having one of those years so far. The Lord is working on my pride and it's good, but not fun. I ask for your prayers.

Friday, June 04, 2010

Crazy Car Accident

About 10:30 last night, Brock drove into our driveway. I got out of our truck and turned to close the door just as I heard a car screeching out of control! I looked down the driveway and saw a car flipping several times in our front yard. I immediately began to say, "No! No! No!" Brock and I jumped back in the truck and drove down to the end of the driveway and into our yard parking our car facing and shining light on the accident.

The car was upside down in a ditch in our yard. The car lights were still on and the radio was blaring. A guy was laying on the lawn a few feet from the car. He had been ejected from the car. He was not moving except to try and breath at one point. Blood began to gurgle out of his mouth. It did not look good. I whispered a prayer and then we both tweeted and facebooked people to pray. Right after we did that, the guy came to. He started sitting up.

By this time, all of the neighbors were present but no ambulance yet. It seemed like they were taking a long time. The guy tried to stand up, but our neighbor, Barefoot Billy said, "I'm not trying to be ugly (that's his favorite saying which he says all the time even when he's not being ugly), but you need to stay down." The guy kept calling for Brett. Brock told him that Brett was not there. The guy said, "There he is right there," as he pointed to one of our other neighbors whom was not named Brett.

Brock found a baby seat in the back and fresh milk in a bottle. That made him nervous, so he went to check around the road and everywhere to see if a baby was lying somewhere. Thankfully, the guy was borrowing the car to go to the store really quickly and he was alone. A police officer came on the scene. He asked the guy his name and such. Then, he asked him what day it was. The guy said "Sunday." Since it was Thursday, I was worried that he had some problems with his brain. The ambulance finally got there, and we figured out that he was out of it because he was drunk (that's also why he ran off of the road). Also, he was gurgling up blood because he had broken some teeth. Also, the car was a convertible. It's crazy that he was alive! His watch was thrown several feet one way and his shoe was thrown several feet the other way. By the way, all of that debris is still in our yard. They towed the car away, but everything else is still there except for part of our tree that the car took with it. It was crazy!